Creating Emotional Safety | Marriage Counseling

Couples that desire to have connection must learn to de-escalate marital conflict and create moments of emotional safety. To do this, both partners need to work together to restrict their negative dialogues and reduce their underlying insecurities.

Every relationship will have arguments and disagreements but they can learn how to avoid falling into anxious demands or numbing withdrawal. They both can learn how to repair splits in their marriage and create a deep loving bond. (more…)

Cheap Forgiveness In Marital Unfaithfulness

Cheap forgiveness of marital unfaithfulness often occurs when the betrayed spouse too quickly pardons the unfaithful spouse without fully processing the hurt emotions or recognizing the betrayal trauma impact.

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Barriers To Intimacy

Marriage and Family studies experts at University of Denver and authors Howard Markman and and Scott Stanley have identified four key barriers to building intimacy in relationship communication. If these are predominate patterns, their studies have shown the relationships usually end in divorce/break-up. (more…)

Keeping Relationship Love On Fire

Many couples that find healing and restoration in marriage counseling but have fear that they will fall back into old unhealthy patterns after they stop the counseling. It’s very true that if the couple doesn’t actively care for their relationship, the positive progress they fought for will diminish. Conversation 7 of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy is about keeping relationship love alive. (more…)

Knowing Your Spouse Equals Intimacy

Every marriage desires intimacy within the relationship and true intimacy derives from “knowing” each other. You have probably heard the saying “intimacy” as “into-me-you-see.” Marriage intimacy is knowing your spouse and your spouse knowing you. Knowledge creates a strong foundation to face marital conflicts and storms. (more…)

What Makes Happy Marriages

Happy marriages doesn’t mean that the couple in the marriage are somehow more intelligent or perfect. Some couples who say they are very satisfied with their marriage still have significant differences in interests, values, personality, and goals. There still is conflict in their relationship. They still have arguments over kids, money, sex, housekeeping, in-laws as unhappy couples. The secret to their happiness is how they work through their journey of difficulties and don’t lose their enjoyable and stable marriage. (more…)

Marriage Fondness & Admiration

In working with couples in a marriage counseling sessions, I often look for any signs of fondness and admiration. If there is signs, then the marriage is salvageable. In the first session, I often ask one spouse to share with me how they met and eventually married each other. Recalling this memory, the couple will often smile with positive feelings. If no smiles, then I assume the worst. (more…)

Key Connection Moments

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) attachment perspective of love provides a key insight into understanding poisonous cycles in marriage relationships. There are key connection moments that either break or make a relationship. (more…)

Learning To Cherish Your Partner

Research shows that a component of happy couples is how often they think positively about their partner when apart. These happy thoughts may reflect with pride on his or her many wonderful traits and feel thankful to be in relationship to him or her. Gottman’s marriage counseling research found that such thoughts help couples to cherish their partner and strengthen their fondness and admiration. (more…)