Betrayal Trauma = PTSDWhen the Sex Addict’s betrayal comes to light through disclosure the impact can cause an attachment injury, in which the relationship represents a source of danger rather than a safe place to go for emotional support. In a relationship with betrayal, the attachment bond is broken and the offended party suffers what is often called relational trauma. (more…)
Partners of Sex Addicts Impact LetterThe goal of the Partners of Sex Addicts Impact letter is to collect and organize the impacts you have experienced as the partner of someone whose sexual behaviors have wounded you. If you plan to share this letter with your partner then the use of shaming language can foster an atmosphere that doesn’t contribute to you feeling heard and understood. (more…)
Often men will come into their first counseling session questioning whether they have a sexual addiction or simply struggling with issues that every man struggles with. They will ask me, “Do I have a sexual addiction problem?” They are wanting to know sexual addiction symptoms and whether their behaviors match those symptoms. (more…)
Often those in recovery from sexual addiction have a deep fear that a partner will discover his sexual acting out behaviors (affairs, prostitutes, stripclubs, etc.). The other members of his 12-step “Sex Addiction” program may have even cautioned against disclosure because it may cause “more harm”. (more…)
Sex Addict Full DisclosureWhen I work with men that struggle with sexual addiction behaviors (porn, affairs, paying for sex, etc.) and they are either married or in a relationship, I will encourage them to give a full account of their past sexual acting out behaviors. The goal of a full disclosure is in taking full responsibility with ridged honesty so the partner or spouse will begin to restore trust. We call this the Sex Addict Full Disclosure process. (more…)
Those struggling with sexual addiction often have held past behaviors in total secrecy. Especially from their partner or spouse. The idea giving a full disclosure of their past betrayals to their partner can be an overwhelming idea. Yet my experience working with sex addicts and partners of sex addicts often strengthen their relationship much faster after the addict discloses his/her history of sexual behaviors. (more…)