Talking About The Cycle

Couples Counseling Round RockThe Negative Cycle is the Enemy

Couples often enter into relationship counseling to find solutions to their “communication problems” or to learn new ways to resolve conflict. In my first session with couples, I begin to hear from each partner what frustrates him/her the most and where they get stuck in their interactions. (more…)

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Listening To Body Signals

marriage cycles of conflict

How To Stay Connected

When couples get into conflicts, both partners play a part in the dance of disagreement and how they disconnect from each other emotionally.

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Relationship Histories Provide Insight

marriage cycles of conflictPast Relationships Affect Current

Our family histories, friendships, and past romantic relationships all play important roles in how we interact and connect with our partner in the present. Those histories shape our actions and expectations for our current marriage. How our parents or other caregivers modeled their relationship often can explain why each partner thinks or does what they do. (more…)

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The Negative Cycle = Enemy

Harsh Start-ups Marriage Counseling Austin Texas

Protesting For Good Reason

In Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples, we believe that the partner that often find themselves in the position of attacking (or a better term is “protesting”) has very good and legitimate reasons for it. (more…)
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Attack-Attack Cycle

Step One: Forgiving Your Partner

Understanding the Negative Dance

Couples typically get into one of three fighting styles but often don’t realize the cycle of how they fight. Knowing and identifying how you fight in your relationship is important. All couples get into conflict, so understanding the dance of how you argue can take some of the power away. (more…)
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Demon Dialogues

Relationship Assertiveness

Demon Dialogues Destroy Relationships

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples assert that the enemy of couples in conflict is neither of the partners but rather it is the negative cycle. The longer partners feel disconnected, the worst the negative dance will become. EFT calls the three negative patterns, Demon Dialogues. The three are Find the Bad Guy, the Protest Polka, and Freeze and Flee.

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Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy

Emotionally Focused Therapy CouplesEmotionally Focused Couples Therapy

Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples integrates attachment theory with systems, humanistic, and experimental models of therapy. The attachment perspective keeps a therapist on focused, tuned into the attachment significance and focused on the goal of shaping bonding moments that respond to partners’ wired-in needs for secure and safe emotional connection. (more…)

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Hold Me Tight Fourth Conversation

marriage counseling round rock texasHold Me Tight Marriage Conversation

In Sue Johnson’s book, Hold Me Tight, the first three of her seven conversations reduce tension in the relationship and prepares a couple for the fourth conversation, fittingly named after her book, “Hold Me Tight.” This dialogue builds and strengthens the bond between the couple and begins to transform the relationship. (more…)

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