Counseling for Betrayed Partners
Have you recently found out that your husband has been viewing porn and it is life-shattering? The person you love most has a life you know nothing about and he/she has been lying to you this whole time. Maybe directly to your face, maybe by omission, but lying nonetheless.
You might be thinking to yourself, “Who is this person that I thought I knew?” And now you’re questioning everything. You probably feel anxious, have trouble sleeping, quick to anger or panic, maybe even thinking that life isn’t worth living. You might find yourself checking in on him/her all the time. You may even feel crazy (you’re not). Or maybe your partner has told you you’re crazy. We want you to know that you’re not.
Partner Of Sex Addict Trauma Model
If you are visiting this website and you are currently in pain because you recently learned that your partner has been unfaithful and caught up in sexual addictive behaviors and you are feeling shame, guilt, abandonment, anger and depression. You may have initially focused on your partner’s problem but now realize that you feel hurt, confused, angry, and depressed.
At Hope Counseling Center, we believe that a partner/spouse of a sex or porn addict experiences PTSD trauma upon learning that the person she or he loved has been unfaithful, deceptive, lying and keeping secrets (some for years). We also know that the pain doesn’t go away on its own. You will go through different stages of hating your partner and then feeling love.
You need support, understanding, a safe place to share your hurt, and to learn boundaries that you have a right to set in order to feel safe again.
Latina Griffin has completed the (APSATS) Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM). This training utilizes a trauma model perspective in treating the traumatic impact of sex betrayal upon the partner or spouse.
As part of the healing process, our counselors are trained in helping couples complete a full disclosure or sometimes referred to as a healthy disclosure. We believe that this a an important part of the healing for both you (the partner) and your addicted partner (and for the marriage). We prefer this to be accomplished early in the recovery and the partner is allowed to ask questions.
The Full Disclosure allows the addict and his/her therapist to write out the full history to make sure it is complete. Lies, half-truths, and secrets prevent healing and prevent the relationship to be fully healed and keeps the partner from ever having trust. Without the Full Disclosure, the partner doesn’t fully know what he/she needs to heal from. Sometimes the partner will request that the addict partner take a polygraph following the Full Disclosure.