Do You Show Sexual Addiction Symptoms?
Often men will come into their first counseling session questioning whether they have a sexual addiction or simply struggling with issues that every man struggles with. They will ask me, “Do I have a sexual addiction problem?” They are wanting to know sexual addiction symptoms and whether their behaviors match those symptoms.
Addicts will often minimize, rationalize, and justify their behaviors so it often takes more digging to find out the truth. But the question alone doesn’t conclude whether an addiction exists. Many men will state that they simply enjoy having sex. The reality is that they are having big problems because of sexual “habits.”
Sexual Addiction Assessment
On our website, we have a sexual addiction questionnaire assessment that our visitors can take to determine where they fall on the sex addiction spectrum. Some of the questions ask whether the partner of the test-taker ever complains about the amount of sex requested. Another is the level of cravings or obsessing that the visitor has been experiencing.
I often compare sex addiction to an addiction to food. Everyone has to eat but the cravings for food for the food addict has become out of balance. He or she is using food to numb, medicate, or escape a deeper emotional pain. This is the same for someone struggling with sex. The issue isn’t needing more sex but rather using sex to keep him or her from feeling pain, loneliness, emptiness, or past trauma.
Is Sex Hurting Others?
Other questions that I ask focus upon whether his sexual behaviors has hurt others, interfered with his job, caused health problems, crossed over his values or beliefs, broken his marriage vows or commitment to a partner, or has any of his behaviors broken any laws.
Sexual addiction doesn’t just suddenly start but usually begins in adolescence and can best be described as a progressive disease. The sex addict uses sexual behaviors to avoid real relationships. Porn, prostitutes, one-night stands, or anonymous sex partners will never reject you, abandon you, or criticize you like real relationships can. Sexual Addiction is about escaping reality at all costs.
Inability To Stop Sexual Behaviors
The majority of men that struggle with sexual addiction have tried to stop or control their behaviors but consistently fail in their attempts. When they reach my office for help, they have tried to stop hundreds of times. Sexaholics Anonymous 12-step program writes, “Stopping isn’t our problems. We have stopped thousands of times. Staying stopped is our problem.” The goal of sexual addiction recovery is to never start again. The man or woman struggling with sexual addiction must reach a point where they realize that they can’t stop on their own. They need help.
Begin Sexual Addiction Counseling
Are you struggling with a sexual compulsive behavior and you have tried to stop but failed? Are your sexual habits causing you shame or keeping you from being able to emotionally connect with your wife? Are any of your sexual activities against the law and you fear that eventually you will be arrest and exposed. Do you want to tell someone about your sexual struggles but fear that no one will accept you or understand?
Contact me today to setup an individual counseling session to begin your journey of healing and freedom. I will never judge you, shame you, or require you to do anything that exposes your struggles. I have helped hundreds of men work recovery and find freedom.