Sexual Addiction Full Disclosure Counseling

Sexual Addiction Full Disclosure

Those struggling with sexual addiction often have held past behaviors in total secrecy. Especially from their partner or spouse. The idea giving a full disclosure of their past betrayals to their partner can be an overwhelming idea. Yet my experience working with sex addicts and partners of sex addicts often strengthen their relationship much faster after the addict discloses his/her history of sexual behaviors.

Research has shown that over 90% of the partners and more than 96% of the sex addicts reported that it was the healthy thing to do. Obviously, there is much pain and loss experienced by the partner of the sex but the good that came out of the process is enough for the addict and partner to believe the disclosure was the right thing to do and the majority of them also report that they would recommend disclosure to other couples in recovery.

Full Disclosure Outcome Research

In the research, it also report the following positive outcomes of the full disclosure process:

  • The addict experiences feeling free after sharing his history.
  • It is an end to denial and the partner gets to chose to stay or leave the relationship based on the truth rather than lies and secrets.
  • The full disclosure provides hope for the future of the relationship. The partner believes he/she can now be more trusted.
  • The partner now knows the addict better and that creates more intimacy in the relationship.
  • The full disclosure represents and new start and new direction. Rigorous honesty begins.

The sex addict experiences exhaustion from living a double life and posing that he/she is someone that he/she is not. The addict is very controlling of the truth and manipulates the partner’s sense of what is real. This is often called “gas lighting.” The partner has no idea the depth of the addict’s behaviors and how he/she tries to fill the emptiness with sexual addictive activities. The disclosure hurts but also can provide relief for both the addict and the partner. The partner’s sense that something was wrong in the relationship is confirmed and he/she is no crazy. The partner’s instincts were accurate and now he/she can better understand the past.

Full Disclosure Demonstrates Sex Addict’s Relationship Commitment

The sex addict’s commitment and work in preparing the full disclosure also lets the partner know that he/she cares enough to share the most difficult information. It means that the addict loves the partner enough to be honest with her/him. After going through the full disclosure, the partner often feels a desire to seek counseling for herself/himself. Sharing the sexual history allows the addict to face the true depth of the harm that the betrayal has caused to his spouse/partner and his relationship.