Empathy = Less Anger
“The opposite of anger is not calmness, its empathy.” – Mehmet Oz
A major part of Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples is to help each partner practice empathy. To practice empathy is the ability to “walk in the other person’s shoes.” In other words, empathy is knowing what the other person is experiencing, feeling, and compassionately responding to another person’s distress.
Sex Addiction & Attachment
I believe that sex addiction counselors need to (re)think about addiction differently than we have in the past. Human beings have been created to possess an inborn need to bond and connect with others. When we are feeling safe, happy and healthy, we will bond with the people around us.
When we don’t feel safe, loved, seen, or soothed; we will turn to something or someone that will give us relief from the pain of loneliness. Relief could be as simple as endlessly checking our smart phones or it might be pornography, video games, social media, gambling, or drugs. We will bond with something because that is our human nature. (more…)
Questions Finding Sexual Addiction Therapist
Finding a counselor who is knowledgeable about sexual addiction is critical and often counselors will label themselves as “specialists” but have never received specialized training in sex addiction. We have heard many disappointed clients share their negative initial experiences with a therapist that had only book knowledge of sex addiction.
Sex Addiction: An Attachment Disorder
In the 15 years of working with men that struggle with sexual addictions, I have held the belief that the main issue was not about sex. Rather, I found that these men had relationship or attachment wounds from childhood and each had a disorder of regulating their emotions (feeling overwhelmed by emotions). (more…)
Mindfulness is becoming a normal part of recovery, especially in sexual addiction recovery treatment centers. Many who are not familiar with mindfulness may ask the question, “What exactly is mindfulness?” One definition is the ability to be aware of your thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, and actions in the present moment without judging or criticizing yourself or your experience. (more…)
Defining sexual addiction
Sexual addiction, also referred to as sexual compulsion and sexual dependency can be defined as any sexual activity that feels “out of control”. The sex addict feels compelled to seek out and engage in sexual behavior, in spite of the problems it may cause in their personal, social and work lives. It may encompass any single or multiple type of sexual behavior. In the assessment and defining sexual addiction, its important to start by discussing the sexual behaviors that are out of control. (more…)
Beginning Sexual Addiction Recovery
Most sex addicts are unwilling to admit that they are a sex addict and refuse to begin sexual addiction recovery. Just like anyone, they too like to think that they are different from other sex addicts. It is not surprising that most men that struggle with sexual addiction have histories of countless vain attempts to prove that they can stop and/or control their sexual behaviors on their own. (more…)