Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) is an evidence-based method for helping couples to identify their negative patterns and find a deeper connection. EFT has more evidence supporting its efficacy than any other type of couples therapy. In addition to the empirical evidence, I use it because I see time and again that it works.
EFT starts from the premise that we are wired to connect, to depend on each other, and to seek closeness. Sometimes the wires get crossed as we seek these things in relationship and we end up locked in a negative cycle with our partner where our actions generate further disconnection instead of connection. Using EFT, I will help you identify how your negative cycle works and what drives it. We’ll slow things down enough to find the positive intentions and bids for closeness and connection that get lost in these cycles.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy
The goals of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) include helping each partner become more aware of the emotions driving the negative cycle. Never is EFCT about identifying one partner or spouse as “the problem.” Instead, the negative cycle of conflict is the problem to be addressed and changed.
The objective of EFCT is for both partners to learn to better manage their emotions and develop more loving interactions. More important is for both to learn how to speak in kinder and more vulnerable ways. As a result couples learn to create stronger emotional attachments. Then they are in a much better place to solve old problems and face future challenges in a mutually supportive way.
Never Too Late For Saving Marriages
No matter how bad your marriage and relationship may seem, we are convinced that with work and direction, you can save it. Even a marriage that is about to hit bottom can be revived with the right guidance. Frustratingly, we find that many couples have received unhelpful or ineffective marriage counseling. Well-meaning therapists provide advice about negotiating conflict and encourage the focus to be on improving their communication.
More Than Teaching Communication Skills
In my marriage counseling program, I won’t just have the goal of simply teaching better communications or conflict resolution. Rather than how you should handle your disagreements, I will teach you how to engage with each other when you’re not fighting. Learning how to meet each other’s needs and develop positive regard for the other, sets up for how you both will face conflict.
Strong Friendship Equals Great Marriage
The couples who have gone through EFT counseling report feeling they have a better handle on where they get off track and are able to catch themselves before they end up deep in a negative cycle. As they get further along in the process, many tell me that they feel closer than they’ve ever felt, and are able to have conversations they never dreamed they’d be able to have without fighting. Their sex lives improve, and they feel like better parents, partners, bosses, and employees. All this is due to finding a deeper and safer connection with their partner.
Begin Marriage Counseling Today
I can’t wait to share all that EFT has to offer with you and your partner. Call for a free consultation today and let’s get started!